I’m on a new chemo; the drug is only two years old. FDA approved. It’s a fast acting med. It was originally created for Pancreas and Renal
cancer, however serendipitously the scientists discovered…….a cure for
cancer. No, I wish. The scientist found out that the drug works
on advanced cancer patients who develop rapid growing and large cancer tumors in
the bone. Great, I’m so lucky to be one
of the few, however the more I read about it, the more it becomes
interesting. Is going to cure my cancer,
seriously……..NO! But hopely the cancer won't break my bone and call me names.
So there is good
about the drug…..it’s powerful and if I’m lucky it will kick butt of those
nagging tumors in my spine. Once again,
they never tell people that bone cancer hurts.
But I’ll tell you, IT HURTS. The
drug dark side…..sound scary music from ……Jaws, no not gruesome enough. Halloween, no, no, no that movie has a happy
ending. Psycho ……perhaps, right now I
feel like a have a million knives in my mouth slicing and dicing. I was told the first thing to go would be taste
within five days and blisters will start in mouth, begining their march down my
throat to my stomach. Plus, the stupid
medicine has a mind of its own. For some reason, the drug will think my lips,
my chin, my cheeks, my eyes, my forehead have been mined with cancer bombs. When I’m not gargling with warm salt water
mixed with lidocaine. the cancer will begin it’s stealth mission. The cancer will creep out
of my mouth (with my luck probably when I’m asleep snoring) and begin to
blister my face. Oh yes, I can feel the
pain already and can imagine the people in the grocery store stampeding out the
door trying to get away from an alien in their midst.
So now I know you’re all scratching your head with the
question – why do I feel like a woos.
That’s easy. I’m deathly afraid
of any kind of mouth pain. I hate
dentists…..yes, I know they are much maligned and are really super heroes,
defenders of teeth, tongue and banishing the evil villains in the guise of cavities and
(whispered softly) bad breathe. I have a bad tooth from my on going
chemo. Plus after my first go around with hard chemo, I had to have my front teeth replaced. I keep my teeth and the bad tooth clean and wait until I
can come up with $3Gs to get it pulled.
It’s been okay up until I started my new chemo regiment. My mouth pain was off charts, I even reached out and
called my dentist to see if I could get in.
Problems……she’s no longer with the firm (and we wish her well, this is a
recording). Plus, I still have a sort of
small bill that has been yet resolved…….don’t look at me, as far as I’m
concerned it’s a billing problem and they need to reinvoice the insurance
company. And yes, I’ve given them my
dental card over and over. So now I have
mouth pain…..Ouch. I have blisters on
my tongue……Ouch. My gums are beginning
to swell with mountains of blisters……Ouch.
And my tooth is killing me. ……LOL…sorry,
let me pick myself up off the floor. I made a bad faux pas , I went with cancer
humor there.
So I’m a woos.
Every three hours or so I go brush my teeth softly, rinse and swish my
mouth with lidocaine and lean over the
sink crying that I don’t know if I can do this.
God, I hope so. Oh the plus side…..I’ve
already lost five pounds and no it’s not from dehydration. I’m drinking plenty of Vitamin Water and
regular water. It’s because another side
effect is taking effect, loss of appetite.
Soooooo woo-hoo.
It’s time for me to go brush, rinse, and cry. Ni ni.
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