Surgery - Round 2 - Ding.......

My body has been tattooed, marked with black and red dye. It looks like a side of beef – rump roast here – breast there. I’ve had my blood drawn – viciously by a Pakistani nurse – even now my arm is dripping blood. I’ve been photographed, pumped full of drugs, eaten the last proverbial meal – only clear liquids until 6 a.m. And I guess I’m ready to go. (Of course, I’m really hoping that I don’t really go – if you get my drift)


Round 2 begins promptly at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow. Much longer surgery tomorrow, I don’t even get out to recovery until sometime around 4 p.m. Rainer gets to pace the waiting room – armed with his Zune, Blackberry and computer. Kids are accounted for. Dogs will be peeing and pooping on the floor of my house. I lose a couple of pounds of yucky flesh; they move some of my back to my front…..and ta-da…..smaller breast on one side, new breast on the other side. And I’m a bright and shiny new.

But I guess the question is…..am I ready to go, am I ready to be bright and shiny new. I still morn for my old breast. You know I was firmly attached to it. But cut, cut, cut and it was gone. I’ve been walking around lopsided for nearly two years. I think it’s time to balance out.

Am I scared? You bet your last dollar I’m scared. I still have all these yucky cancer cells swimming around in my body. I wonder will the chemo continue to keep it at bay or will it now infect my new shiny appendage. When they open me up, will it be like “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” and I’ll have tons of cancer pods growing in me ready to pop out. (Yes, I know I’ve been watching too many horror movies). I was looking around my yard today. It was bright. The sun and haze were fighting amongst each other to see who would win. I think the haze won as it was a bright warm gray spring day. I admired the pretty little baby buds covering the trees. I wonder will I open my eyes tomorrow night……will I see the leaves blossom to green, sparkle to orange and red, and fade away….all yet to be reborn next season.

Que sera, sera……oh lord – Don’t start spouting Doris Day songs. I tell myself…..I’ll be fine, it’s okay. Hopefully, I’ll still be the champ after Round 2.



p.s. Unfortunately, I get the pleasure of a several day stay at Chez Hospital. I invite all my friends to either post their thoughts here on my blog or better yet…..send me your best jokes. You know a smile is good ju ju, but laughter is great medicine.