It's a just another night at our home. Emma and Hannah have been bouncing from room to room like tornatoes, leaving coats, blankies, and toys behind in their wake. Dylan made dinner - a family favorite - procuitto and peas - that has been scarfed down by all. He's now upstairs in his room and I can hear him cackling over Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert. Rainer is doing laundry while giving his witty commentary on the election returns that are blasting in the background from the T.V.
And me, what am I doing. Lately, I don't know. I'm just trying to make it while living with the pain. They never tell you that cancer is painful, especially when it sneaks into your bones without your knowledge. Lately, I feel like I walk around with a crowbar that has gone straight through my chest and come out my back. Horrify sight, isn't it. Well, the pain is just as bad.
Tomorrow, I'm graduating from Viocodin addict to Percoset addict because the pain keeps getting worse instead of better. My doctor is thinking of switching me to radiation just because the pain continues to grow. I'm really tired of this and I have so far to go.
The pain come in waves......and I wonder when will I get to have just another night at home.
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4 comments:
Joan, I am so sorry that you have pain to deal with and the Doctors can't seem to do anything. Maybe the radiation will shrink the tumors enough that you can have the surgery, that should help with the pain.
You will get through this, just keep saying it.
Joan, my sister in law was diagnosed with stage 3-almost-4 breast cancer about 15 years ago. The doctors gave her about 1-2 years. She had a 7 year old at the time and was terrified. To date, that child is a sophomore at UW and my sister in law is still going strong. She did traditional treatment at Swedish as well as alternative therapies with naturopath Dr. Lamson at the Tahoma Clinic.
Overcoming this &*#$% disease can be done. You can do it. You're in my prayers.
Love, Angie (another Bainbridge mom)
Hey, Joan:
Don't get discouraged. You're on the right path - just figure its a marathon and not a sprint. One step after another ...
HI Joan-I have been reading all the comments you are getting and am thinking-how wonderful people are to take time to leave you their thoughts and love for you. Thom and I think you are totally amazing to put your thoughts and emotiions out their for everyone. You "go" girl!Your words are like pictures. I could see Hannah and Emma cutting off your braids. Hugs to you!
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