Sleep, and lack there of.....

Okay, stupid question. Why am I never asleep at one a.m. in the morning? I know it’s a rhetorical question. But this lack of sleep is killing me. Laughing out loud…….actually rolling on the floor in hysterics. The shooting gun is the alarm that is going to blast at 5:30 a.m., less than five hours from now. (Although, I really sort of pretend to sleep until 6:45 a.m. – the early bell is for Rainer to get up and at em – the second bell is for me to haul my but out of bed and try to somehow cajole my two little ones out of their warm, snuggly beds……you know school for them……and who knows what for me now that I don’t work anymore……but that is another sorted tale to tell at a later time).


Right now, the orchestra is playing. Let’s see we’ve got Rainer on the trumpet, playing loudly the Snore Be-Bop. We’ve got my two dogs – one, who snores, the other dog who just breathing in and out in stereo. I can hear the refrigerator click on downstairs – it should be good for a whoosh or so for a half hour. Even my laptop fan seems to be chiming in every now and then.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. And I guess that’s what not sleeping is all about. You don’t know why you are awake. You just are. Your mind is flowing with nonsensical thoughts – hmmmm, the lottery is up to $133 million, maybe I should break down and buy a ticket, but that would cost a dollar or two, which is something I don’t have these days, I wonder what I would with the money if I won. Immediately, the accountant in me wakes up and starts calculating, let’s see I would probably get X% of $133 million, then after I paid the IRS 50% of that I’d have Y. I’d pay my mortgage off just to get rid of those pesky bankers, and hire someone to mow my lawn so I would never have to ask Rainer to do it again, of course I’d buys some of my crystal goblets for myself because even though I ask for them every year for Christmas I never get them, I’d buy my parents a condo so they’d be forced to live near me. Thoughts of green lawns, remind me of sunshine and warm faces lifted upwards, weeds to pull and hoping flowers will bloom. Of course, dreaming about flowers blooming, IRS and mortgages immediately pulls out the worry wart in me. I flash upon Molly digging up my tulips and little green people coming to take my house and family away, hee-hee, hoo-hoo, ha-ha. Oh let’s stop this before I’m climbing the walls.

Gosh, I wish I could go to sleep.