Chemo.....yet again

I had chemo on Thursday. Yuck, Yuck, Yuck. I hate chemo. First you can sleep, and then you can't sleep. I know it's only chemo lite.....but it still plays havoc with my system. No I’m not losing my hair – it just thins a bit. Chemo lite makes you crave food, whereas chemo hard makes you throw up food. Hmmm…..which sounds better?




One of the big side effects of this chemo is that my bones and joints are now killing me…..the pain is so intense for about 4 to 5 days. It’s sort of like polyjuice, it grows bones. (Harry Potter term) Just think, I’ll never have osteoporosis. Who knows, maybe I’ll start growing taller. If I get real lucky, maybe my bones will glow in the dark after I’m gone.



Don’t tell anyone, but it’s really hard. I’m trying really hard to be the all around good sport and super woman mom even though I have cancer. Right now, I have tears quietly falling gently down my cheeks. I’m wrapped up in my warm robe, shielding me from the cold night. I close my eyes and try to think of anything other than the pain, sunshine, running with my children, baseball. However, it hurts to lie down, it hurts to stand up, it hurts to sit down. My fingers, my tailbone, my ribs, my toes, they feel as if large knives are being jabbed into them. I’m not allowed to cry anymore in from of my family. They get too upset. So I wait until night, after they all have gone to bed. Then all the sorrow pours out of me.



I know that this part of my journey moves very slowly. And I’ll be a good sport about it whenever you see me. However, at night, when everyone is asleep…