My heart

The other day, I was schlepping Emma home. I was the taxi service that picked her up from her afterschool program, crossed the island at break neck speed to get her to her cello lesson, and followed up with driving back up the hill to our house. It was raining and cold; the car’s windows were foggy. Emma was drawing animals and smiley faces on the window. We were both bopping to some silly girly song on the radio, when during the lull she said. “Mama, did you know that my real friends can see through my eyes to see my heart and know that I love them.” I looked into the rear view mirror into my daughters eyes and smiled. I turned the radio down as she went on to list her best friends of Haley, Amelia, Simon and others…..all of which could see through her to her heart. I then asked if there was any one who didn’t see her heart. Emma’s smile immediately turned upside down to a big frown. She venomously named a little boy, and listed all his faults against her. And I hid my laughter; my eyes were twinkling as I learned he wasn’t so bad, he was just not into Emma and her animal games. I even perceived that she really wanted him to see into her heart. Then there was silence and as we drove down the lane to our home, she said – you know Mama, you see into my heart the easiest – I love you Mama. I love you too, Emma.

Since our little conversation, I’ve wondered can my friends see into my heart and know how much I love them. I wonder if my friends know how truly shy I am and that sometimes it’s hard just to say the words. I have a really good friend who lives down in San Francisco; she’s a smart savvy, very cool blonde. Whenever we would get together, she would yell out - get that girl a drink – she’s funnier. I want her and others to know that I hope you can see into my heart and know that I love you. From the Pink Cadillac couple, the quilt heads I used to hang out with, the St. B Moms, my roadie friend, my world wander conscious, my poor peter rabbit friends, my island moms, my b-study goodies and everyone else out there…..I love you all and couldn’t live without you.